Well, getting good grades is now my priority... but somehow I've managed to make bigger worries which I can't do much about.
There was one thing that coud've gone right and ensured a safe future for my family, but because of the greed and atrocity committed by others, it went delayed and finally wrong. It was partly my dad's fault for being so damn lazy, but I digress.
The recent global issues, particularly those connected to economy, made our life go berserk. There are people who have it worse than me, but I'm not thinking about ME - I'm thinking about my family! My little brothers... I don't care what happens to me, I want my brothers to be safe and secure, I want the best for them. It's just not working out... When it comes to them, I can;t compare the situation with others, at all. My ego is not involved here, my love is.
And finally, I want the best for my friends. I feel like I've lost them all. I wish it wasn't so...
With so much running through my head, is there any place left in my heart to grieve about myself? I try not to think about anything that makes me feel even a little bit self-centered or selfish. And if I feel like crying for myself, I cry, but I don;t ask myself why, therefore I don;t lead myself to conclusions or solutions.
I simply don't have the time or the right reason or concentration to think about myself. What happens happens, all I can do now is pray to God.
"When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
With the cataclysm raining down
Your insides crying, "Save me now"
You were there, impossibly alone.
[...]
And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
With no one there to catch you in their arms.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go."
p.s. It's Faty.
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